Thursday, August 21, 2014

Doubt and Deliberation

I had a moment of doubt today. Wondering if this all isn't a little too crazy!

It comes any time we choose a path with determination and purpose, doesn't it? It could be dedicating yourself to school, to a big project at work, to a relationship, or - for me right now - to living in a small house and getting rid of (most of) my stuff.

Within the next month, our lives are going to change dramatically. This dream we've been working toward over the past year and a half is about to happen! We will be vacating our Kingston apartment for a few months while we rent it out. Before that can happen, my husband and a friend will be replacing our roof. Then, just as soon as we move to the small Adirondack house, we're renting it out for five days. Except, it's not finished! Within one month, we're going from two houses to none for a moment.

Oh, and on top of all this, my husband is starting a new business - next week!

I can't say it's not a wild ride.

When I take a breath and then another (and another), I am reminded that I am doing this with purpose. I didn't decide to do this willy nilly. "I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately." [Except, unlike Thoreau, my mom isn't around to do my laundry. (Sorry, transcendentalists! I had to say it.)]

Obstacles like these - stress, major change, making many difficult decisions - give me a chance to review my own character and dig into some tough questions of my self. Why am I here? What is my purpose? What am I capable of? I like to think that it's far more than what I've accomplished so far.

But let's be honest - this is a little crazy. And I don't think it would be as much fun if it wasn't!

Stay tuned for more on my wild ride!