Determining the Value of Things

Now for some of the nitty gritty on my downsizing process.

Someone asked me today, "How do you decide what is valuable to you?"

I can't answer that question for you. I can share what I've learned in all of these months and months of sorting through my stuff and deciding what to keep and why.

I've learned that things have different types of values. Some are aesthetic, some are sentimental, some are utilitarian. For instance, I have seven or eight scarves. Two were my grandmother's (sentimental); I don't particularly care for the fabric and color (aesthetic) in one and I rarely wear it (utilitarian) but I'm having a hard time parting with it because it was my grandmother's.

It's easy for me to say to myself, "Hey - it's only one scarf! Doesn't take up much space." Which is a really easy way to avoid deciding what is important to my life.

Deciding for each item I have which of these values trumps the other has been tricky. I have asked myself a few questions when I have trouble deciding whether or not to keep an item:

1. Have I used it in the past year? If not, does that mean I won't use it in the next year?

2. What would I do without this thing? In other words, could I replace this thing's use with another thing I already have?

3. Where did this thing come from? Did someone I care about give this to me? Does the thing or its purchase remind me of some special event? Can I remember that person, place or event without having this thing?

4. What items do I want to pass down to be cherished by my daughter and by her family and by their families?

5. Could someone else get more use out of this item than I have gotten?

I don't really need two sets of steak knives or fifteen pot holders. I don't need five pairs of sandals. My daughter doesn't need 15 pairs of pants. I don't need that board game my husband hates playing. But these are the easy questions.

Do I need the dressers that I chose out of my grandmother's estate after she passed away?

Do I need this tiny cat figurine that my best friend in high school gave me for my 17th birthday that I just found in a box I haven't opened in 5 years?

Do I need that scarf?

Yard Sale

We had a yard sale a few weeks ago. A whole year of setting aside our belongings had contributed to a significant pile in each room of our house. They were eyesores for sure but acted as a persistent reminder of our intentional plans.

All in all, it was a good day. I hope these items are finding usefulness in others' lives. We sold enough of our belongings to pay half our mortgage for the month. We gave the leftovers away to random passersby in need and then donated the rest to local charities. I thought we'd done pretty well. But when I walked inside our house that night, it seemed to me like we hadn't gotten rid of anything at all!

That clearly told me something important that I already knew - we have way too much stuff! We're now on round two of our purge. I'll write more about this process later.

What's striking me now is how I refer to these things as "belongings". How significant these things are in my life! Without thinking, I extract value from the things I own and assign it to myself. I treat my things as an extension of my self. Is this a natural way of looking at my place in the world or a construct that modern society has me thinking is necessary to my being, to my worth?

I can't begin to tell you how much I really don't like advertising being as prevalent as it is. I thought that I could escape it by not subscribing to cable TV. That worked in the 90s. As marketing has carpet bombed the internet, it's impossible for me to escape it now. I appreciate a company's desire to let the public know about their products. What I don't like is the pressure it puts on me to live a certain way (with lots of stuff) or be a certain type of person (with lots of stuff).

We now have a new rule in our house. We will only purchase something if it is either 1 - consumable or 2 - a replacement for something worn out or broken that we absolutely need. We can still get that bottle of wine for Friday night dinner with friends, but for the most part we've put a freeze on expanding our possessions.

That's funny - the other word I use for my stuff is "possessions". I wonder though, do I possess them, or do they possess me?

Today this whole process has been a little overwhelming, honestly. I'm not sure where to start, and I can't even come up with a plan or a priority list. And my car needs work and our roof is leaking. So I guess it's no surprise that I'm not getting a lot done. Maybe I just need a break today, and my energy will return tomorrow.

In the meantime, I need to figure out which of my six purple tee shirts will make it to the "keep" pile.